I tried to make a submission to Agma Schwa\’s Cursed Conlang Circus 3, but I can\’t seem to get myself through the editing process. I\’m not confident in my own voice, my voice kept cracking no matter how hydrated I got, and I made myself too invested in my cursed conlang that no matter how many times I cut out material, I still end up with an explanation part longer than 10 minutes. During the editing, it turned out that the Basics section was 3 minutes alone, and I had 4 more sections.

So, instead of submitting, I will decide to post it on my site. So, here is the Ri\’iblomu language of the Quasi-Vampiric, Gladiatorial Pancake-Bakers:

My name is Bannersglare the Whimsical yet Complex, but the Ri\’iblomu would know me by the calque translation Shogæg smæ-Mrrren, Smænu\’umlu lag Smiralu.

This is my entry into Agma Schwa\’s Cursed Conlang Circus 3. It was directly inspired by the part of his livestream where someone said they had a pancake this morning.

To provide a brief translation, it would be:

Agma Schwa\’s stream also jokingly described the \”Hunger Games Showdown,\” so I also coupled the Ri\’iblomu as a gladiator-based culture.

Also, I have no interest in the first translation sample from “Twilight,” so instead I incorporated the vampire archetype into this conlang. Speaking of \”Twilight,\” I know that I sound like the offspring of Kristin Stewart and Napoleon Dynamite, so please bear with me. It doesn\’t matter to me whether I win or not, rather I want to partake in this competition to get some clout. Also, I have colored some words and texts green. Those will be important for the end of the video.

Here\’s the format of the video. I did the best I could to keep the explanation part at a maximum of 10 minutes.

Basics [Wɨ\’an ga-Ya’am]

Ri\’iblomu is a VSO, AN language, and it is a daughter-language of the Cherryfield language family.

In the event that a noun is used to modify another noun or create a specific word, Ri\’iblomu mostly uses the periphrastic genitive construct–specifically with the usage of prepositions. The language also does not have a plural affix, rather makes use of the definite plural article when specifically indicating a plural word.

The name \”Ri\’iblomu\” is a simplification of the endonym that they actually call themselves which is \”Ri\’iblummmomuA:\’O:\’E:m\” meaning \”savory syrup-glazed is definitely us ourselves\”

Phonology And Protolanguage [Nüm-smæ-bol bʰæn Ya\’am smæ-Bol]

This is the phonology of the Ri\’iblomu language. You will notice how there are no \”hard\” or \”sharp\” consonants. I will get into detail about that later in the video. But in the meanwhile, I will say that the Ri’iblomu language dropped all of the hard/sharp consonants while other Cherryfield languages kept theirs.

This is the protolanguage chart of the Ri’iblomu language. It is also the common language of the 10 Cherryfield Principalities. For simplicity’s sake, I called them and the protolanguage Cherryfield, since the original 10 principalities originally were founded in a fertile area known for producing cherries.

Also, I provide an example of other languages from the same language family as Ri’iblomu, spoken by the people of the Sweetorange and Alligatorsnap Principalities.

Lexicon [I\’imlu-smæ-Bol]

Through the Pareto Principle, I started with translating the 100 most commonly used words in the English language, which are simple verbs, simple nouns, pronouns, prepositions, questioning words, and conjunctions. Not all of these words will appear in the ending sample, but it did help provide a foundation for more abstract, complex words. Also, the conlang does not have words “to be,” “to have,” or “to make,” rather they make use of prepositions when conveying such ideas.

As far as morphological shift, the suffix +lu is used for nominalization, while verbs used as adjectives never change. The mo+ prefix is used when making a causative verb. There is also an agentive suffix, +ndo, originating from the word meaning \”man/person\” which is used to assign a person doing a particular action.

History And Script [I\’inglu dan-Gobʰ bʰæn La’anlu]

I\’ll try to keep the history as brief as possible.

After I’igahondo the Baker’s Son became the King of the Syrup-Glazed Kingdom, he ordered his council to make 1 million dishes from a handful of fruit jam divinations. Those five divinations all foretold that: the Kingdom would experience want and goodness, so they need only those who are young and great to carry the Kingdom to the future.

While they struggled, the polymathic scribe Ljarbʰo\’ojlu drew down the shapes and traced scribbled characters within the shapes\’ outlines. From the shapes came the characters, and from those characters came more refined characters; and by the time the Syrup-Glazed Empire was founded, the alphabet evolved into a left-to-right abjad with a few logographic characters. As expected, the Syrup-Glazed Empire employed the abjad for commerce resulting in the production of 1 million dishes, thus fulfilling the five divinations’ prophecy.

Why Is It Cursed? [Jɨ smæs Bʰoninglu?]

Agma Schwa defined \”cursed\” for the purposes of the competition as \”disturbed, painful, and uncanny ad absurdum\” and as \”both horrible and amazing.\”

Many Words Originating From \”Blood\”

Since vampires assimilated into the Cherryfield Principalities, there was a social transmission between them and the Ri’iblomu. While the vampires spoke the Ri’iblomu language, they incorporated their significance of blood into the language. The original word for \”blood\” \”en\” would be grammaticalized into abstract cognates throughout the history of the Ri\’iblomu nation. The root-word \”en\” would refer to \”blood, to enjoy, and shadow.\” It would originate words such as the following:

Phonaesthetics

Psychologists Wolfgang Kohler and V. S. Ramachandran argued that human language developed from an almost-natural synesthesia with soft words having soft sounds and sharp words having sharp sounds. Relying on their research, I want to make the case that phonaesthetics would play a role in the development of the Ri’iblomu language.

Because pancakes are soft, round, and fluffy, then it would make sense for the post-Ljarbʰo\’ojlu language to evolve diachronically with \”soft, round, fluffy\” sounds. So, the appearance of the pancake provides the phonaesthetic sound symbolism for the Ri\’iblomu language. As such, there are no \”hard, sharp\” phonemes in the language.

Verbal Derivative Glottalized Vowel Reduplicative Intensifier [o>o\’o]

If I want to create a new verb from a root verb word, I simply replicate the vowel in the word. By doing this, I intensify the meaning of the word.

Voiced Bilabial Nasal Reduplicative Culinary Intensifier [mmm]

This is affixed to the end of a noun denoting a culinary dish. It is used to intensify either the variety, the size, or the flavor of the dish.

Increased Volume And Elongation Of Vowels In Emphatic Nouns

The Ri\’iblomu people were already a society that embraced gladiators before the pancake, so the influence of the gladiator vernacular influenced the Ri\’iblomu language proper. In which case, the gladiators would use increased volume upon elongated vowels in order to emphasize a noun. As such, the high volume, elongated vowels became associated with nouns or pronouns being emphasized. This is important when you are referring to a specific person twice without confusing two pronouns as different people.

Frontal Narrative-Based Clauses

Including the story theme into the language, I would incorporate the concept of a story into the conlang in such a way that it is truly integrated into the language. In which case, the phrases you would typically hear from a storybook find themselves in this conlang.

These clauses originated from phrases that preserved linguistic economy by condensing throughout its diachrony. These clauses would mostly be used for existential sentences (such as “There is” and “It is”). There is also a clause used for run-on sentences.

Sprinkles Of Ultrapolynesian And Ultraromanian [o>o’o’o][rrr]

Triple Verbal Derivative Glottalized Vowel Reduplicative Intensifier

If you want a much more specific, almost poetic meaning, you would use it. If we take the word bhoj and get bho\’o\’oj, it would mean \”to not live without.\”

Here are other examples:

Multiple Inclusive-Exclusive Pluralities

While Polynesian languages make use of the inclusive-exclusive pluralities, the Ri\’iblomu language uses them when applied to either the eating table or the kitchen.

The word maeng meaning “to cook” was itself grammaticalized into the pronouns when referring specifically to the kitchen inclusive case.

Triple Trill Consonantal Cluster

As for Ultraromanian, as mentioned before, I want to include the origin of the vampire archetype that we know of. Through deducting backwards, I inferred that if the vampires are from Transylvania, therefore dashes of the Romanian language would be placed in the Ri\’iblomu mix.

The trill consonant cluster is a common feature in the Romanian language.

As such, there are some words in the Ri\’iblomu language which have a triple trill. I can\’t do the long trill, so please bear with me.

Agma Schwa\’s Sample

So now this brings us to Agma Schwa’s sample text that he provides.

Hark! It was ruled by Agamashuya and His son Gu Sabah: Tian practices against the lesser side of the invisible origin of light, beset by cosmetic prohibitions of silence and restraint; for Ngu, a slave to creativity, shall make inspection and certification prior to confirmation of Najva Guns’ official status. Deny thine humanity: There are no politics in real life.

Please note that I will be using the 2nd person table plural case, so this will be targeted to those specifically sitting at a kitchen table at the time of hearing this. Also note that I make use of AI-generated images from Midjourney. It goes like this:

Nsonðr iwumisos Agamashuya bʰæn Gu Saba dlugas; bangrrr Smɨ\’ɨbsos Tian omseð yɨeiyæn smyɨgonyenolu smægæg, guχsos smo\’ɨnmɨrglu ungɨχɨχlu smunejolu bʰæn mosɨnglu; bangrrr dan-Ngu, i\’ara\’ando smwe\’emljar, gas widmdemlu bʰæn widmya\’am gabʰɨm nguiwæmilu smængusa\’alujrrralu smæNa\’iwa Gans. O:nonabü\’ünjs moɨ’ɨ’ɨχralu smÜ:\’ünj: Gagrans o-rogd-gagobʰ go-sdrrrag-jrrralu.

[It came to pass (that) Agamashuya and His son Gu Sabah ruled it; Tian practices against the low side of the invisible origin of light, placed from cosmetic prohibitions of silence and restraint; for Ngu, a slave of creativity, will make an inspection and certification before confirmation of Najva Guns\’ official status. Deny YOUR humanity: There are no politics in real life]

Sources

• Agma Schwa. \”Cursed Conlang Circus 3 Methods Debate (ft. ŋatrons].\” YouTube. 2024.
• Agma Schwa. \”Who Can Make The Most CURSED Conlang? (AGAIN].\” YouTube. 2023.
• Agma Schwa. \”Who Can Make The Most CURSED CONLANG? (CCC3].\” YouTube. 2024.
• Nordquist, Richard. \”The 100 Most Commonly Used Words in English.\” Thought.co. 2019.
• Ramachandran, V. S. \”A Brief Tour of Human Consciousness: From Impostor Poodles to Purple Numbers.\” Pi Press. July 2004.
• Shisler, Benjamin K. “Phonesthetics\”. The Influence of Phonesthesia on the English Language. 1997.
• Tammet, Daniel. \”Born on a Blue Day: Inside The Extraordinary Mind Of An Autistic Mind.\” Free Press. 2006.

Image Source

• Drawn by Andrew Dunn \”Booba-Kiki.\” Scientific American Hearing Colors, Tasting Shapes, May 2003. Wikipedia. 1 October 2004.